Its gonna be...
I usually don't blog from work. 1) don't have the time, 2) don't wanna get busted and 3) I use it as a way to decompress before I go to sleep. Tonight is gonna be one of those nights that if I don't record as I go then really good shit is going to be lost and I might end up saying some pretty inappropriate things and get shit-canned!!!
First and foremost this is an overtime shift. I came in at 2300 out of the goodness of my heart. There is also a 100% chance of snow tonight. In the south this means that the grocery stores have been emptied for several days and its full-blown panic time. I have seen nary a snowflake yet. I am also sitting in tragony with the WBL (Wandering Brownie Lady for those of you late to the party) and with one of her cronies who is always late, slow and takes hour long lunches in-between naps.
Drunk 24 year old, trying to impress a chick at a bar. Decided he would try to break a pilsner glass over his own head.... told me he does stupid shit when he's drunk. Told him not to steal Tyson's tiger and put him in the waiting room.
22 year old female "banked by some girls" (apparantly this means got her ass beat). The punched, kicked and otherwise fucked her shit up. They pulled her weave so hard that she is basically bald (!) and set her coat on fire. She was more concerned about the fact that her braids were fucked up rather than the fact that she had a 2 year old child with her when this happened.
We also have the stupidest security guard in the world workiing the desk immediately behind my triage room. I used to think that the jackass phone Nazi was the worst, but this is the female version that he trained. Talk about dumb and dumber! This bitch's whole job tonight is to control the main door to the ED. Essentially not let anyone in unless they are supposed to be there. Fire brings us a cardiac arrest. We know this ahead of time.When a squad comes through the first set of doors doing compressions you OPEN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
They had to scream at her to open the door.
2 minutes later we get a drive up vomiting blood. One of the squads in the driveway throw her onto a stretcher and run her back... with the family (I use the word loosely) in tow. Lets just say there would be no way of confusing the family with EMS providers. The chick had on a spandex dress so short that I got the Ob/Gyn view, and the guy was dressed like he was in a rap video. Ems rolls in with the patient, family running behind. This security chick has learned to open the fucking door alright... and she just lets them all in. Then when I go chasing after she doesn't do a damn thing. I had to get the University police officer to go bring them back!
.... and yes, I've been here 2.5 hours. Its really gonna be one of those nights!