Friday, July 10, 2009

Hot and Cold

When I am in charge it runs either hot or cold. We are either wide the fuck open or completely dead. Unfortunately, last night was the former. There were seriously patients on every available surface that we could find and trauma after trauma inbound. As soon as I could get a room open I would move a trauma out of the room (to make a bed for the next contestant) or triage would bring some absolute bullshit back from the waiting room. Truth be told, if I have an available bed I don't need a complete report from triage. The nurse in that zone is more than capable and I really don't give a flying fuck what size shoe the patient wears and how many times they had the shits today. ABC's intact?... yup. Dying right this second? No... ok then. Room 2.... leave me the fuck alone.

So 75 year old man on a roof. Am I the only person who has a problem with that? Falls through the rafters 12 feet onto concrete. Transfers in from another hospital with about a million rib fractures, a hemothorax and oh yeah, did I mention he was 75? Chest tube put out over 900cc of blood. WTF?!?!?! Why were we fucking around here? He was in the trauma room for almost 2 1/2 hours. That's fucking ridiculous. He finally went up after he put out another 200cc of blood and received 2 units of PRBCs. His family was upset that the trauma docs weren't available to come to the phone and talk to some random family member from West-by-God.

Another thing I have learned.... when the guy with the gun says "Give me your money!" ... fucking give it to him. 20 year old college student wanted to argue and got her ass shot in the leg. Is it sad that she was in the trauma room a matter of 10 minutes, and then was moved out. She just wasn't sick enough to stay in there!

In the midst of the 50 million traumas we get a dude that walked out of the bar and got his ass fucking beat down. He was altered on arrival and complaining of chest pain. (24 years old with an MI hx) He was also really REALLY drunk. He got through CT and then the switch got flipped. He turned into the biggest drunken prick. His IV's got ripped out and his skinny white ass wrapped in a blanket went running out of the trauma room. We were perfectly content to let him go, but the trauma attending wanted him kept, so the police got involved and his scrawny ass got TDO'd. (what can I say.... it was a beautiful thing!)

When we have traumas inbound, the communications room will call back to the charge nurse (me) and give report on whats coming. I seriously gave up on paper and started writing on my hand, arm, pants... you name it. I seriously have about 5 patient reports written on me right now, including a dude who was a pedestrian struck by a truck and (somehow) had an unconfirmed lac to the penis.... in addition to other injuries. After a trauma evaluation it was found that Mr Winky did indeed have a lac, but how the hell did that happen? Walking done the street at 3am with your wang out? WTF?!?!?

All this fabulousness was marred by one of the cranky bitches who was none to happy that I was in charge. She had a crap-ass attitude the whole time. She even had an orientee with her and had to do very little work and she was still a complete bitch. I'm starting to think that bitch may be an acute disease process!


Blogger GingerJar said...

Ok. I feel bad, I was whining to my hubby about getting the possible swine flu, intubated, Diprovan on board (not enough apparently) 44 yr old, and coding. Finally got stable, hourly Blood glucose, new bottle of Diprovan q 45 minutes (big guy what can I say). All I know is with the American obesity explosion Diprovan should come in 500 cc bottles....

But, after hearing all your trauma's I got exhaused!!!! How the hell do you keep it all straight???

Damn Girl, you don't need a helicopter to have fun!

11:41 AM  
Blogger GingerJar said...

Oh, and Isolation sucks. I am sick to death of putting on masks, gowns and gloves. We are in the middle of the swine in the Valley. I hate to think of fall when the season is in full swing.

11:42 AM  

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