Wednesday, July 22, 2009

Pieces and parts.

Just when you think you have seen it all..... I wandered into the trauma room today. The first patient had OD'd on psych meds and jumped out of a second story window. He then ran around the city wearing nothing but a Batman cape. So after multiple sutures and staples Arkham Asylum here we come!

We have also had an influx of jumbo sized patients. I mean REALLY fucking huge. 400lbs is the norm these days. When the patient weighs more than the scooter she is riding how does she even manage to fall off at any kind of speed??? Anybody out there ever hear of a FUPA?!?!? Yeah, saw a lot of that tonight.

MeeMaw is confused as a bedbug with a UTI (and dementia). Will not pee and has to get a foley. Somehow I seem to be the go to girl for the MeeMaw foley cath these days. For a demented old granny she was sure strong as hell. Those little knees were stuck together with superglue. It took four of us to hold her while I dusted off the cobwebs and popped the cath in. She sang the whole time.... it started as a song I remember from church then turned into a sung version of whatever was last said to her.....

.....That tube is in my blaaaaadddddeeeerrrr...... it lets the urrrriiiine run ouuuuuut!!!

I finished the night with a pretty horrific car accident. Four friends were on their way home late at night. They got a flat on one of the bridges and pulled to the side of the road to fix it. All four were out of the car when a drunk dude struck the car at over 70mph. Two of the guys were struck and pinned by the car. Both were literally torn to pieces. The torso of one ended up in the drunk guy's front seat. The trooper showed us pictures.. there were legs torn off and laying in the road, a shoe with a foot still in it and the white sheet with god knows what under it. The other friends were pretty much ok.... but pretty shaken up. The highly trashed driver only had a broken nose, but got the asshole tube as well.

Ended the night with a psych patient who wanted a prescription for marijuana. The nurse's response.... "we don't do that on Wednesdays, check back tomorrow."


Blogger BubbleGirl said...

"We don't do that on Wednesdays"
That is AWESOME! I don't know what the laws are like where you are, but in Canada, you need to have I think 3 doctors submit a form to the government saying that marijuana would be a beneficial treatment option... Who goes to the ED for that?

2:39 PM  
Blogger battynurse said...

Chuckling at the dusting off the cob webs and singing for Meemaw. How funny.
So sad though about those people hit by the drunk driver. That just pisses me off. We had one a few weeks back that the drunk driver killed 3 and jumped out of his truck and tried to run away.

7:54 PM  
Blogger Michelle said...

Oh my God! I laughed so hard!!!! You're a great writer!! I'm totally following you now!

5:10 AM  

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