The Shit You Can't Make Up
I walked in to a 24 year old who was complaining of blood from the penis. Sounds like the standard STD workup to me. I told him the whole adage about not putting your pole in a green pond, smiled and walked out of the room. The chart went to one of my favorite residents who got a bit more of the story than I did. The patient's roommate told him that it was because he masturbated too much. (go ahead and ask, I did........ ) How much is to much? He admitted to 15 times per day. Who has time for that?!?! 15 per day plus almost a 2 pack per day cigarette habit, no wonder he doesn't have a job!!! The patient was also convinced that he didn't have an STD because he was banging a lesbian behind her girlfriend's back. OMAA..... again, can't make this shit up!