Wednesday, August 05, 2009

Dick for a Day

Once upon a time there was a boy in a dress. His friend was stabbed a couple of times and whacked in the head with a hammer. He came with her to the ER and made a scene with his friends about how she was dying and what a bitch the triage nurse (me) was. In the meantime a trauma shows up. A man has been stabbed multiple times to the chest and back. Our boy in the dress is ID'd as the bad guy. (literally, the pt said "it was a boy in a dress") The boy in the dress takes off and is nowhere to be seen. The University PD is on his tail (haha!) and catches the boy in the dress in the parking deck. He and his other well dressed friends are bought back to the ED in handcuffs and taken promptly to the men's bathroom to pee. (I thought only women went to the ladies in groups!)

Another patient is being transferred from a local hospital. Actually, they wanted to fly him. Let me mention that this hospital is about 10 miles (or less) from us. Fortunately, someone with some brains decided that flying would be a stupid idea. He was been shot with buckshot in the back and head. He is awake and doing fine on arrival to the trauma room. His story... he was just walking and some dude shot him.

In the meantime a friend of the cop's shows up. He's looking for "some guy shot in the ass." His guy was breaking into someone's garage when the garage owner caught him and shot him.... with buckshot, in the ass. That sounded a little too familiar. I sent him into the trauma room to investigate.... you know, cop stuff. Guess what?!?!? Bad guy found. I asked for the CrimeSolvers $1000.00 reward, or at least the Det. badge for the day. (dick, haha!)

Finally..... any story that starts with "there were these two drunk ass bitches....." is probably one you don't wanna get involved in!


Blogger battynurse said...

Isn't it fun when your cases run together. We had that one night but the guy had kidnapped and raped a little girl. Not sure what happened to him but I know the police were waiting.
As far as your last line, my theory is instant dumbass, just add alcohol.

9:47 AM  

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