Naked Old Guy

When I started in the ER years ago we were steady busy at night from about 1900-maybe 0300 and then it just DIED. We would turn the hallway lights out and (when it was really dead) the nurses would take turns catching naps in the fast track ER. As the cliche goes, those were the "good ol days."

These days we arrive to patients on every exposed surface. Literally. The rooms are filled, the halls are filled. There are rooms like 4.5, 14.5, ice machine, outside trauma, chairs by the entrance... you get the point. The waiting room (which is not very big in comparison to the volume) is packed to capacity with patients overflowing into the hallway.

So I think the mental picture has been painted. We were busy as hell. EMS brings us an old man who was found running naked around a busy intersection in the city. No Batman cape (I asked!). He wouldn't speak, and got a little combative when the two female officers went to restrain him. He came in tied to the stretcher with a "What the Fuck" look oh his face. My best guess would put him at mid 70's, early 80's. We popped him on our stretcher, and tied his wrists with soft restraints just as a precaution. He didn't fight... in fact he kind of started off into space.

I was charting, getting caught up.... stuff like that when the clerk yelled.... "There's a naked man running through the hall!" Gramps had gotten out of the restraints and was truckin' it towards the door. I ran after him and when he saw me coming he started running faster....or as fast as an old guy can run! One of the nurses caught him from the front (Thank God!) and I had him by the shoulders. He fought a little as we redirected him back and one of the older nurses looked at him and yelled "don't you know what you look like???" It was all I could do to keep from sitting on the floor and laughing.