Wednesday, March 31, 2010

The TIger Song

I'm now attracting a new niche of patients. Crazy cracked out pregnant ones. The latest and greatest was my age (?!?) last used crack 2 days ago, missed her methadone clinic appointment and was 8 months pregnant. She came in for suicidal thoughts and dental pain. Now thats one HELL of a combo. The doc gave her lido jelly, 130mg methadone and a psych consult.

Another winner last night... random dude that showed up at a friends house acting batshit crazy. He was hog tied and spitting on arrival. We put our "big boy" restraints on, cut the EMS cravats and he tried to bite his own hand. Once he was tied down he continued to yell and thrash. One of the nurses and I started quietly singing the Tiger Song from The Hangover.
Ironically, it settled him right down. The paramedic students, ems and the resident thought we were crazy until they saw it work.

I spent the remainder of my night in triagony trying to stay awake. The normal screamer nurse was out there.... she sits, directs from the chair and takes breaks. Thats about it. Occasionally, when the timing is right she may go to the back to "evaluate" a forensic patient. These seem to take the greater poition of an hour after which she really does need a break.

There are days where I just want to scream at the top of my lungs and go running out of that shithole. The people, the management and the staff are really starting to make me crazy. I doubt it showes because Mis MerryFuckingSunshine wouldn't dare frown because one of those nosy bitches would probably write me up!!!


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