Monday, March 15, 2010

BZZzzzzz

4 hours of trauma, 8 hours of triagony. Started the shift with a self-inflicted GSW to the chest. .50 caliber muzzle loader, tachycardic and hypotensive on arrival. Unbelievably, trauma decided to crack his chest BEFORE he coded, drop a couple of units of blood in him and whisk off to the OR. For only the second time in my career we might have an ED thorocotomy that walks out of the hospital.

Out in triage things were a different story. Sitting at the screamer desk wondering if crazy is attracted to me like mosquitoes to a bug zapper. Random, skinny white person, it wasn't until she spoke that I knew it was a woman. I thought she was just homeless, looking for a place to stay. When she came back to the desk and started rambling I realized that she was batshit crazy and delusional. My dear, would you like to talk to someone about your worries (please say yes!)? Yes? Ok, lets get you in the computer and you can go talk to the triage nurse.  BZZZzzz!!!

Lil old guy walks up to the triage desk. Socks pulled to the knees, flannel shirt and thats about it. It was a windy night and he was flappin in the breeze. He wanted to be seen because his wife hit him in the head with a frying pan. Really honey? Is that what happened? Did she steal your pants too? While the police talked to him about possibly filing a report the other nurses got him a gown. The coordinator stood in the background quietly singing "pants on the floor, pants on the floor."
BZZZzzz!!!!

I walked into green the other night and found multiple police surrounding a crazy looking black guy in one of the hall beds. He was naked (noticing a trend here?) with his boxers tied around his neck. He apparently did this in front of the hospital security. As they tried to remove the shorts he shoved a sock in his throat.
BZZZzzz!!!!

Gotta love it!

2 Comments:

Blogger battynurse said...

Wow, that's a lot of nakedness. What is it about people who are a little (or a lot) off and their first instinct to remove most if not all articles of clothing? someone should study that.

8:37 PM  
Blogger mojitogirl said...

jeez, not even a full moon yet!

7:39 PM  

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