Stupid 101

I little more lighthearted than the last post I present the January-February class of Stupid 101

25 yo male. 3 months of hematuria. Decides to call 911 at 330 in the morning cuz now its an EMERGENCY!

Chronic pain patient complaining of kidney stone pain busted doing the scoop the water out of the toilet trick. No narcs for you, buddy. 

CooCoo for Cocoa Puffs lady that asked the (female) patient care tech to stop and have sex with her on the way to the psych floor

Pt who received a "letter" (= positive for STD) and presents to the ED for treatment. After his shots he hits on the nurse cuz "I'm clean now"

Visitor so fat that she sits with legs apart and belly hanging out of shirt. Stupid nurse (me!) assumes she's just fat. Ummm... nope. Pregnant.  (GROSS! SOMEBODY FUCKED THAT ON PURPOSE?!?!)

Dental pain patient in the trauma room... she says that Superman and Batman are fighting to the death in her mouth. Apparently that causes dental caries.... who knew?

Toilet water for pee man trying to come back and re-register so he can see another doc that he hasn't lied to yet

Intern explaining to me that I really do have to send the cultures before I hang the antibiotics (really?!?! are you serious? we have to DO that? WOW)

Intern (detecting a trend) telling me that the man with the fractured and impacted hip has to be NPO for surgery. Oh my goodness doctor??? Why must it be like that?

Stupid fucking bitchy nurse going to my nurse manager about me having the cell in triage.... blow it out your ass bitch! 

Ahhh..... I feel so much better now!