Monday, April 17, 2006


I could have also entitled this post 'Holidays Suck!' For anybody who works is health care this is a very true statement. Not only do we get to work, we get to celebrate the disfunctionality of everyone else's families. The most brutal, violent nights always seem to follow a good old family get together. Take for example the 'Not So Brady Bunch' that was in the department on my arrival. Seems "Greg" and "Peter" got in a fight over "Marsha" and "Peter" ended up stabbing a couple of Bradys, and got himself shot by "Bobby." "Bobby" got his ass hauled away to jail while the baby's momma watched. Ugh... what would Dr Phil say about them I wonder.

Another thing. Apparently on Easter we thank GOD for sacrificing his only son, and treat the medical staff like shit for doing their job. Another brilliant example. Smarty pants and his girlfriend are on their way back to school and are hit head on by a drunk driver. Total speeds 110mph and 75mph (yeah, the drunk was speeding) Well, said Rhoades scholar proceeds to berate the whole trauma team because there is "just no reason for me to be here!" Obviously this kid is waaayyy more savvy than the American College of Surgeons who (by way of the tiered Trauma Alert system) seem to disagree.

Once Einstein got to me he was being a first rate prick. I tried to be nice to him, maybe it was the handful of jelly beans I'd just eaten, but he continued to tell me just how I was going to do my job. I asked what his major was... he said "Political Science" (great, another pre-law, just what we need)so I mentioned that his choice didn't have dick to do with medicine or, more specifically trauma surgery. I think the best part was when Dad demanded that I take sonny's IV out. (I was on the phone with another hospital) When he started to get loud the Doc intervened. Dad said he would pull the IV himself. Per the Doc "Good luck with that Sir." I was laughing my ass off.

I get so tired of these ungrateful people. You can help them on their worst possible day and it's still not enough. What would happen if I chose not to? Would they rot in the street? Probably. Would the world be a better place. You bet. So why preserve this parasite-driven lifestyle?? Because we can!! Whoo-Hoo!!!

As I was leaving I got some great news. JCAHO, any health care facility's nemesis arrived this morning as I was leaving. Glad I have the next few days off!!

Don't blame me for the cocaine in your pee. I didn't put it there.


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