Saturday, April 14, 2007

Ding Dong

the witch is dead!

We have "frequent fliers" in the department. They come in for all types of shit. Most want pain meds, some have legit medical conditions but don't take care of themselves (with their highly busy social calenders and all). None have "real" insurance. They are ALL either disabled or on Medicaid. The running joke has been that we have lost 1 frequent flier a year pretty consistently as long as I can remember.

This year has been a little different. We have had 3 die within the past 3 months. Its almost scary. Unfortunately, any time this is brought up someone will pipe up and say that Mr Smith is next. (you all know that this is not his real name). Of course Mr Smith has to be next! We are all fed up with his shit. Mr Smith is an end stage renal pt who is mean as shit and has been kicked out of every dialysis center in our city. As a result he shows up at the ER several times a week complaining of chest pain or other assorted symptoms in the hopes that we will have to dialyse him.

Well, Mr Smith WAS next. As I walked in to work one of the girls yelled across the parking lot.... "Hey, guess what? I heard Mr Smith came in coding today. Lets find out if its real!" Staff from all over the department greeted us with "How are you? Did you hear Mr Smith died?" I even got calls from staff that were not working last night to check.

My take on it is that he's not dead til I see a body and an obit. Otherwise he could be living in the walls like the other roaches and lawyers who will survive the end of the world!

Last night was crazy busy. People were really really sick, there were no ICU beds and we kept getting hit with more patients. I personally think that Mr Smith was down in hell with another frequent flier, looking up at us, cursing out night, giving us the bird and yelling for a glass of water. (we never gave him water because of his renal failure) So its Mr Smith's fault we had a shitty night last night. I'm sure Friday the 13 had nothing to do with it at all!!!!

The cop and I have decided not to have the traditional bachelor/bachelorette parties. We are having a cookout here at the house instead. Lots of cops, nurses, some family and high school friends. I have syringes to make jello shooters and more hot dogs than even the cop could eat. The beauty of this situation??? I paid for it all..... so the cop is going to clean and get things set up! I think I got the better deal!!!


Blogger Paradise Driver said...


But who is hiring the stripper? And what gender?


That would make for an interesting BBQ.


11:31 AM  
Blogger jeepgirl said...

The cop has a friend (male) who frequently strips down at these things. K might be convinced to do the same if given enough jello shooters!

3:23 PM  
Anonymous lisa said...

Jello shooters in syringes???? That's awesome!!! We'll have to try that next party.

12:15 AM  

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