I ran into on of my good buddies this morning before I left. I call him SuperMan. He's one of the flight medics for the state police helicopter. This guy is a great medic and a super nice person. He always talks to me about flying and where I am in my goal to be a flight nurse. We talk about calls and he picks my brain to make sure I have my head in the right direction.
There is one thing that is hard for me though. I wouldn't call it jealousy, SuperMan earned his way to where he is and deserves it. It kind of makes me sad to be right there with someone who is doing exactly what I want to do in life. Like being right next to your dream and not be able to touch it. No matter how hard I work, there is nothing out there that can guarantee that I will get a flight job. Realistically, it may always stay just a dream. Don't get me wrong... I'm going to keep plugging away. As I have told SuperMan, its getting a bit frustrating lately.
I have told people that I don't have enough lifetimes to do all the stuff I would love to do. I just feel like all I'm doing in working and not really able to get out there and do it. The cop and I have discussed picking up and moving somewhere completely different. Marathon Key comes up a lot, but (as my reasonable head keeps telling me) we can't really afford to live down there... and where in God's green earth would I have to drive to find a good trauma center... Miami probably.
Ok, all of this is starting to sound a bit like a pipe dream. Can you tell I'm back in the "no sleep" mode? Was so tired I almost didn't make it home and was wide awake at 2pm. What the fuck?!?!?!
Back in the ICU for the next two nights... oh happy day!