Just freakin' gross

There are some statements that truly need to be repeated. I once told a special forces medic that the texture on our temperature sensing foley was "ribbed for his pleasure." (I have yet to live that one down)

Occasionally, our male nurses have to chaperone a pelvic exam. They don't like to do it and bitch like crazy afterwards. Yesterday one of the guys had to go in on a less than appetizing exam. His response... "that looked like a bulldog eating mayonnaise."

The mental picture still makes me cringe.

Crazy as shit psych/seizure patient went ape-bonkers last night after enough ativan to kill a horse. I counted 4 cops, 2 docs, 2 special forces, 2 nurses (me and lurch) and a medic. How I always end up on the bottom of the pile on these, I will never know.  We were convinced that he shit himself until we realized that the smell was dudeman's breath. He went upstairs after a B52 of ativan, haldol and benadryl. I tried to ignore the distinct crunch of his wrist when I put the restraints on!