Friday, September 25, 2009

Emergency Hair and the Crazy Check

I made the mistake of telling someone that I don't need a great night's sleep before being in the trauma room simply because I don't HAVE to think very much when I'm in there. Things come naturally to me and it just flows. Unfortunately, last night flowed a little too well. I am dog-ass tired and my feet are killing me. Multiple GSW's that (even though they were nice enough) just fucking sat there. Nada acute going on with them so just in a holding pattern.

What really chaps my ass is that while I was full in the trauma room, there were multiple open beds out in the treatment area. Nurses were out there shooting the shit and chilling while I ran around like crazy with 2 GSW's, a self-inflicted slice to the arm (hypotensive) and a BIG FAT MOMMA 82 year old with oozing leg ulcers. Don't ask me how the last one got stuck with me, she just did. Once I got everyone stable I went from bed to bed drawing all of the repeat labs, cleaning, getting people off of wet gross sheets, into gowns and under warm blankets. All the while my faboosh colleagues were hanging out with empty rooms. I should have said something to the charge nurse, so I guess it’s partially my fault. However, she is a little flighty and one of the lazy bitch nurses (who I have mentioned before on here) was out there and wanted to do as little work as possible. She has recently left the ED full-time, thank god, and will now come work 8 hour shifts from time to time. This change has done nothing for her attitude. So she had open beds all night and just watched me work. I could strangle her ugly neck!

Ok Ok, so this comes across a little bitchy, but I am tired of telling people to do their jobs. Not even HOW to do it.... but just to motivate people to fucking work in general.

I also heard a couple of new terms this week. 18 year old girl is under arrest for assault. She is getting medically cleared before going to lockup. The officer went to check her purse and asked what was in there so he didn't have any surprises. She rattled off the normal purse-stuff and then said "my emergency hair is in there too." WTF?!?!?! Emergency hair.... seriously? The officer reached in and pulled out a couple of little plastic braids. ........gross.

One of the housekeepers has a son who is in jail. He is getting out in a couple of years and she mentioned that he needed to apply for his "Crazy Check." Again.. what the fuck is that about? It sounds like the excuse is that he was in jail so now he has PTSD and needs disability. Why the hell does a healthy 25 year old need disability? Does anyone have the answer to that?

So my exposure to big momma crotch and the emergency hair has caused PTSD for me... can I apply for a "crazy check" and retire in luxury at 31? Just checking.



Blogger battynurse said...

I had a neighbor once who qualified for a crazy check because he had AD/HD and couldn't hold a job. Umm, yeah, he was a dumb ass who would mouth off to supervisors and get fired. Oh and he was going to go back to school (after going through some other program) on the states dime to get retrained for something.

10:45 AM  
Blogger mojitogirl said...

Big Momma Crotch alone has to be worth SOME combat pay, much less PTSD disability!

I tell you, next life I want to come back as a Medicaid-eligible, unemployed, chronic pain patient on methadone with an IQ of 71. Or my dog.

12:08 PM  
Blogger mojitogirl said...

listen, just heard that Monroe County's Trauma Star network looking for a director for their helicopter transport team. County benefits at the level of Battalion chief. Have abstract of posting,can email you if you're interested. Nice crew, know most of them. email me at and I can forward.

9:58 AM  

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