The Wild One and the Evil One
Last night sucked! I was back from a few nights off, so I didn't know any of the patients that were in the ICU. I also had to count narcotics because the hospital is too cheap for a computerized med machine. Hell, even the ER has a Pyxis!
So I landed 2 middle age guys on opposite ends of the ICU. Both were "squirrelly" (all over the place, picking and pulling, out of bed a lot) Not really very safe. One weighed 400+ LBS and was wearing nothing but a pair of boxers that were about 30 sizes too small. Heard them described by one of the nurses as his frontal thongs. Nice mental picture there. Fortunately, the fat rolls kept the boxers from riding up too high. He got combative in the middle of the night. You haven't lived until you've seen a 5ft tall little nurse wrestle a 400LB pt back in bed. FUN FUN FUN. I had to tie him down and sit right next to the bed for most of the night.
My other patient was a VIP. The husband of one of the pathology attendings. She is also one of the state medical examiners. Kind of a big shot. Nice nice woman though. He had a frontal tumor and was a HANDFUL. Smart guy, knew something was wrong but trying to use his smarts to cover the fact that he was wacky! He refused to stay on the monitor, didn't want to be bothered and yelled at the chief of neurosurgery because his light was too far from the bed, his pillow sucked and his bed was too soft. When his wife called for updates she referred to him as the Evil One.
So I was very happy to get home this morning.... was worn slam out. Still not sleeping well. Am off tomorrow and have a ton of stuff to do. 20 bucks says a I sleep all day and don't get to any of them!!!