Amateur

I picked up the room at midnight. Whats scary? We had an extra nurse for four hours. The charge nurse 'Elvis' left me in my zone, and then had the 2 extra nurses floating with nobody assigned to the trauma room. Sooo... when the trauma light went off.. Elvis decided to sent my happy ass in. Drunk beaner.... either 1) was assaulted (his story) 2) he was hit by a car (bystander said that) or 3) fell off a bridge (the police officer's story. His alcohol was waaaaayyyy low. I was embarrassed for him.

The amateur of the night award goes to the chick who came in at 1am. She was unrestrained passenger in a head on collision. Went to cut her clothes off... dress, green and yellow hot pants, green and yellow tied up shirt, white thongs and pasties shaped like flowers. Now I have pulled piercings out of everywhere you can think of, but have never had to remove pasties before. Especially not flower shaped ones.

When the cops arrived I was able to get the real story from them. She works at a computer graphics company and is married. He husband was (as the cop says) 'Click Click 10-31.' AKA under arrest for dui. Apparently, they were at amateur night at the local strip club. Homegirl won the grand prize. (hubby must have had the $$$ cuz she only had $13 on her... and NO it was not in her g-string) OMAA!!!!

Strippers are funny. We get them at the hospital from time to time. I had one once who was doing her thing upside down on the pole and fell off. She arrived backboarded with her arm sticking straight out. (dislocated shoulder) I have also seen some NASTY broken ankles from those shoes. We were trying to decided if fake boobs hurt when you lay on top of them, like on your stomach. I don't know anyone with fakies so can't ask.

I know nursing doesn't pay great, but I think I'll stick to my crocs and scrubs instead of flower shaped pasties and stripper shoes!