Thursday, July 20, 2006

Sexual Monkey

One thing I love about my job is that it is never the same. I never know what kind of patients I will take care of or who I will meet. I meet and frequently take care of folks from all walks of life. Homeless guys, rich folks, politicians you name it. A few notables...

The guy from the corner... I see him on the way to work. Sleeps on the air vent.
The governor and his children (daughter is diabetic).
chief and assistant chief of police
the doc our burn center is named after (dying)
the parents of a childhood friend (horrible MVA)
grammy award winning r&b singer (drunk, high, flipped a hummer)
NASCAR driver with a head bleed (Hit the wall)
owner of a downtown gay club (drunk, fell)
owners of the 'BIG' family jewelry store (granny fdgb)
the drunk who calls me 'Boo' (drunk, faking seizures
multiple state troopers (one died... I still have nightmares)
Tire carrier for yet another NASCAR driver (mva)
many many fellow staff members

Its weird... everyone ends up in the trauma center at some time or another. Its just a matter of when.

Last night we had a few gems. I was waiting in triage for a trauma to get called in (I got a heads up) and took a call. 19 year old male, on LSD trying to get into a bar... minus his clothes. What can I say, its been hot down here. When the cops got there he was licking the pavement. Brought to us flat on the belly, still naked, screaming. Heart rate was 160's, he got 140mg of IV valium. (to put in perspective.... 10mg IV would make me sleep for about 8 hours) As he was yelling he declared that he is "the sexual monkey." He also told the cop holding him down must have a hairy ass and a big cock. His momma is going to so proud.

His female counterpart was there also. Snorted over a gram of cocaine and then rolled in her own poo. Yum-O!

I finished up my night with one of the most awful sexual assaults that I have seen in a long while. Legally I'm not going to discuss any details. I know I'm going to court for this one. We have forensic nurses who can collect evidence from these victims. I also have to go to court very often for the legal blood alcohol draws that I do. I don't love it... but its nice to slam dunk these fuckers from time to time.


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