Saturday, June 10, 2006

A finger or a tube

OK, when we have trauma patients there are a few messed up little statements that you will hear us say. "A finger and a tube in every orifice" is one, "therapeutic touch" which is a direct reference to the rectal exam is another. The ABC's of trauma are "Ass, Blood,Catheter" instead of "airway, breathing and circulation." Yes, we are our own breed of deranged little lunatics operating at a hospital near you.

So if you can't tell by the attitude and sarcasm, yes, I got my ass handed to me last night. There must be something in the air, but it was a no bullshit kind of night. There was a female from an accident in bed 1 when I got there. She Got back from the CT scanner and promptly dropped her BP to "oh shit" right in front of me and my nursing students. They got to see her get 2 chest tubes, emergency blood and a quick trip to the OR. Yep, she died.


Lady was standing at the top of some stairs, got dizzy, fell, bumpity bump bump, all the way to the bottom. Couldn't move her left side, stopped breathing... then EMS brings her to me. She had a HUGE bleed in her brain. The neurosurgeon had to do a ventriculostomy. Picture a hand boring drill. Drill a hole in the skull, put a small plastic straw right into the middle and drain the spinal fluid out. (the students got to watch that too, they were psyched about the ER when they left).She then went to the OR. Yep, she died.


Dude minding his bidness as usual. Shot twice in the abdomen and leg. Entrance in the right, bullet in the left hip. Nicked the abdominal aorta. He went to the OR emergently. Can you guess what happened next??? Yep, he died.

Are we seeing a trend here?

Had a guy not wearing his seatbelt (grrr) wrecked, went through the windshield. He had every bone broken in his face, had a huge bleed in his head and assorted other injuries. I went to touch his forehead and it felt lie a helium balloon with the air half out. Squishy with a touch of crunch. He's gonna die.

State Police officer was in pursuit of a vehicle. High speed under the back of a tractor trailer. Given my affinity for cops I am happy to say that he is going to be just fine.

But the rest of the night was a bitch. There were other traumas and other patients but I can't really remember them now. Too tired. I got home and my cop told me I looked pitiful as we walked in the door together. My plan was to change into pj's, write a little on here and then sleep til the luau tonight. The dog had other ideas. I have a 100+ lab named Maddux. Maddux apparently didn't feel well last night. He puked twice on the carpet and you could smell the huge mess in the kitchen when we walked in the door. Diarrhea everywhere. Ugh.... The cop almost puked. I sent him to the store for breakfast stuff and lysol spray to cover the stench.

So, we had 3 dead, one in progress and all the other freaks and drunks from a Friday night. God, I'm tired. Doing the luau with the cops tonight, should be fun. Plus I have some good gross-out stories!

When you are a trauma alert and die, don't come haunt me. I'm the nice one!


Blogger shayla said...

I'm sorry, i laughed through most of that entry. Love your sarcasm, even if it is fatigue-induced.

Too bad you had such a rough night. & glad that you came out of it with your sense of humor intact. Hope you have fun tonight.


7:30 PM  

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