Wednesday, April 28, 2010

The Dogs

Trying to get out of the ER rut and find a little more excitement. In the ER we see everyone and I make friends pretty easily. I have learned never to say "you have it easy" or something to that effect to police/fire/ems folks. They LOVE to take me out of my element and see what I do!

The last police ride-along I did was a bunch of years ago. I rode with one of the cops friends (chick) who was crazy as hell. This time I was with a guy I've known for years. He was a little more pro-active than she was so it involved a lot more driving fast and "getting into stuff." We did a couple of traffic stops, wrote a couple tickets (suspended licenses, reckless... no BS stuff), rode through the projects, checked the make-out spots, stuff like that. I met on of the Pike's fabulous Shemale hookers. "She" was wearing what looked like a t-shirt with Baby Phat written on it than barely covered her.... nevermind. She had a long wig and strappy heels that were about 4 sizes too small. I was doing my very best to keep a straight face as she and the officer debated perception of her just walking down the street at 2am. When "she" noticed me checking out the shoes she asked if I liked them. What do you say when a 6'3 trannie (she said no penis... I didn't want to know) dressed like that asks if you like her shoes? You smile and say... yep!

Our next pass through the pj's (projects) we found a random white dude in a work truck. He seemed high as hell and as the officer I rode with talked, his partner searched the truck. He came up with prednisone and 3 bottles of pee. Not sure why the hell you need pee in a work truck except for a pee test, but can't prove that one. As the truck drove away the officer was complaining that he got pee on his hands... my response??? "Welcome to my life dude!"

As we left we saw something in the road... it was a small dog, maybe even a puppy that had just been hit. It was still breathing/whimpering.  We were going to take him to the emergency vet, but as we (and about 3 other officers watched) the poor little guy's breathing slowed, then stopped. One of the guys was actually petting it as it died. So much for cops being arrogant assholes, huh?

We then went into another pj to help an officer who was chasing someone. We checked alleys, yards etc for a guy on a bike. We found the bike outside an abandoned house with a broken window. Someone suggested they get the dog. So I got to watch a police dog track a suspect and do a search of the house. Very cool. We frequently see the aftermath of the dog's searching (aka the police dog bite) in the ER. No luck on finding the suspect, but still an interesting scene to watch.

It was a long night. My back was sore the next morning, but I had a great time. It was a nice change from the ER. Plus I have a great idea of what I can be for Halloween this year!

Wednesday, April 14, 2010


The screamer nurse has struck again! I was a princess tonight. Nothing I can't handle for 4 hours, right? The first person I saw was my new boyfriend. In his 60's, history of schizophrenia, was assaulted in his group home. He was sitting next to the triage desk (too crazy for the waiting room, not sick enough for the back) singing to everyone who passed. The fun part? He had a decent voice and was doing the best of the 70's. I was trying to get settled as he sang "Get Down Tonight.." Hard to not smile and dance along with the song. He took requests too. "Jungle Boogie" was my favorite. The communications room called asking what his 1-800 number was so they could vote for him!

Welcome to the College of Knowledge, where we save even the biggest shitball with the most ancient of equipment. The screamer computer has been on its last leg for months. I can hardly get people into the computer as is. Throw multiple patients including a couple of chest painers and it becomes impossible. Some chick came in (no joke) complaining that she got shampoo in her eye. Seriously? Waiting room please. 15 year old unresponsive via squad after drinking a whole bottle of Absolut Vodka..... mom didn't show up for almost 2 hours. 

In the midst of all this fun I get a call from a city police officer. He was out with a dead guy who had a medical history (don't they all). He wanted me to give him some info for the death certificate. Ummm.... negative ghost rider, call the ME for this one. Home-dude got a little attitude when I said no. I got another police call looking for a guy who matched a description they gave me. Up until now nobody has matched up. Tonight, of course, they hit paydirt. Their suspect was in yellow.... I had screened him and knew exactly what he was wearing. Weird. When it hit 11 I turned into a pumpkin.... didn't stick around to see if they caught him or not.