Extra Hour

Its fall back day and I'm NOT WORKING for the first time in 5 years! That rocks cuz fall back day routinely sucks. What am I doing?!?!!? Drinking Maker's and Pepsi with the cop and watching Rescue Me. What are you doing with your extra hour?!?!?

I'm drinking it away and enjoying the hell outta it. More later!

Still Here

I know, have been gone for a while. It was much easier to keep up with this blog in the living room where it was sufficiently either cool or warm. Being that we have had our first freeze warning it is fucking COLD back here in the spare room/office. I can't come in here without a sweatshirt and blanket... plus the chair is hard and hurts my ass!

I had drama in the ER this past weekend. Not the typical kind though. I've been pissed that since I went to the ICU haven't had much time in trauma. So Saturday I showed up early and asked the CC (aka Greencard) to put me in there. Her response... "you don't really work here anymore so you will have to ask ..... (insert the name of both manic and scary nurse who is new to the dept). Well, I did.... her response... "would you be mad is I said no?"

OK, look here chick. I have been here for 5 years, have more seniority, more certifications and experience in both hospital and EMS trauma, I haven't been in the room for over a month and I have a student with me tonight. God I wanted to deck her..... but in a more mature moment I held both my temper and rash of four letter expletives, including the one that I just don't say, and let it go. She had her ass handed to her that night and could possible be written up for allowing a tubed, sedated patient to sit without any type of monitor for almost an hour. (plus the sedative dose was more than twice the recommended rate)

That morning I went to the funky diner downtown with the cop and a few of his buddies and toasted her glorious failure the night before. (the beauty of this diner in two phrases... opens early for cops/nurses, and early liquor license) I conviently caught a cold that morning and didn't make it to work that night. Oh well.

I also took care of the meanest man in America in the ICU last week. He is 75 years old and looked perfectly harmless when he was asleep. The daughter says he prides himself as being the meanest guy in the nursing home. When I tried to talk to him he preceded to try and hit me (reminded him that the last one died!) and began insulting me deceased grandmother. "She is rotting in hell just the way that you are going to. " I stayed very nice and pleasant.... and he was just a mean little son of a bitch. I tried to give him grape juice with his meds and he tried to throw it at me. My last option was to have the chaplain say hi.... he made some comment about Jesus, the fact that he was restrained and that Ms Nancy was trying to lynch him. Ahhh..... what an angel.

The ICU is going better. I took the sickest patient last night (amidst protest from my former preceptor) and had no problems whatsoever. I am still having problems with them screening my phone calls. If its for me they either ask who it is, or never tell me someone is on the phone. K called twice the other night and was put on terminal hold each time. Not sure how to handle this.

Last but not least, I did have a break in professional behavior last week. A drunk was going off about the docs and how they weren't seeing him fast enough....etc etc etc. So I told him that he could get his shit and get the hell out. He wasn't the sickest person here and we had no intentions of kissing his ass to make him stay. He stayed.


More on the battle with Greencard later. I may start another Revolutionary War. Hmmm... how can you get a greencard revolked????

Forgive Me....

As I Rant


In the ER for a princess last night. Nothing big happened.... it was just fun and easy. God I miss that place. Stayed late to do competencies (prove to the administration and JCAHO that I'm not a moron) and met the cop near lockup to hang out for a sec. Ummm...ok, so that sounds like a "You Might Be Married To a Cop If....."
1) you catch up outside of lock-up
2)you ask where someone was shot and they give you an address
3) you have to check for a 'No Guns Allowed' sign before entering the jewelry store (they had one, so we didn't go in)


Anyway, I have a couple of things on my mind. First of all I am NOT drinking the water at work ever again. It seems that every nurse of childbearing age, and several that are on the cusp (IMHO) are getting knocked up! Everyone is due between now and May. Its scary.....its like the tsunami of pregnancy has overtaken the whole region. I'm swearing off anything but bottled water and coffee at work. I figure the wanted is inseminated and the coffee filter and a nice Starbucks blend can filter those little bastards out! Even the cops friend has knocked up his girlfriend. Was I the only one who paid attention in middle school you guys?!?!? WEAR A FREAKING CONDOM!!!!! Whewwwww....... I feel a little better. So not ready for that drama yet.

So, I'm the oldest grandchild on both sides of my family. My cousin on my moms side is in his early 20's (24 maybe) and has already been married, divorced, knocked up his girlfriend (see a trend here) and is now married again. His sister (I think she's 21) is getting married in a couple of weeks. WEAR A CONDOM!!!! She dropped out of school and I think has a part time job. Not sure what her fiancee does, but its obviously not something that made an impression. So, she's getting married. I'm not going to the wedding... have other plans. But have every intention of sending the "previously requested on the registry" gift. So I check out the registry. HOLY SHIT!!!?!?!?!? For a pair that doesn't make shit for money I see they have no problems scanning stuff that I wouldn't even buy for myself!

There is an under-the-counter TV/DVD player, XBOX accessories, a mirror that costs almost as much as my car payment and all kinds of other shit. Ummmm..... I know that what you get has little affect on 'Happily Ever After' but DAMN. I have a real job, a real house and a very real mortgage and wouldn't dare ask my friends and family to go so over the top. Looks like towels and measuring cups are all they are getting from this old cynic. Enjoy..... But I wonder... if I get the TV/DVD player and they divorce in a year do you think I could petition to get it back??? Just wondering.

Done ranting for a while. In the ICU tonight. Ugh. Back in the ER with my peeps on Wednesday.

ICU Drama Drama Drama

So I'm off of orientation in the ICU. My first night rocked... I was loving life. I got to do what the fuck I wanted to do with my patients. My former preceptor was on the other side of the unit stirring up drama or whatever the hell else she does. My second night pretty much blew. I had 2 completely dependent patients and couldn't get anyone to even help me turn or boost them up in bed.

Lets put this in perspective. I'm 5'0, strong from the ER, but by no means a body builder. To move an intubated, ventric'd (brain catheter) patient without a right bone flap (they take the bone out over the right front of the head and staple the skin back up..... allows for swelling) is a daunting task... Especially alone. Plus its not safe. I swear I asked everyone to help and they were "just too busy." I was pissed. Believe me, thats coming up when I talk to my nurse manager.

Having other drama up there as well. It appears that my former babysitter/preceptor has written up one of the medics from the ER. The reason.... she visits and calls me and that interfered with my ability to do work. All explanation aside, it really seems like a witch hunt in my mind. What angers me the most is that nobody in the ICU said anything to me about this. This is the first I have heard of it. So now what the fuck to do? As the FNG I don't want to stir the pot too much and destroy my career, but at the same time this is bullshit. Not only is this a friend, this is a coworker and a damn good medic.

Went out with the "girls" last night. Their take was "tell em fuck you and come back to the ER" God I wish it was that easy. I would never get a flight job if I did that. Plus, if all this drama wasn't fun enough.. .it appears that Lurch now wants to work nights. I don't get it. He has NEVER worked nights...... and now he is just signing up. Trust me, if my ass gets bumped to days there will be some serious shit going on.

OK, I'm sorry to have gone off on such a personal rant...... just have had a lot on my mind this week and very little energy to express it. Am off for 3 whole days. Haven't had this much time off in a row since I started in the ICU. Had s'mores and wine by the bonfire last night when I got home. I must say, the cop does spoil me. It turns out that Maddux loves s'mores too.....just without the chocolate.

I'll be in the the ER 3 days this coming week. I can't wait. It will be such a nice change.

The Cherry

OK, I know its not 530am as the ghetto computer is trying to tell me. I think its somewhere near 4. I swear I think this thing has a pull start back behind it. I just have to figure out which cord it is......

So am done working like a dog this week and DONE with ICU orientation! I still have to have a "resource person" to make sure that I am not overwhelmed and that my shit is getting done, but thats better than being babysat.

Had a chick that I admitted last Saturday from 'the vatican' (local catholic hospital) with a head bleed from an aneurysm. She was nutty that night and we attributed it to the blood in her head. Surgery 2 days later did not improve things. She talked non-stop about anything and everything. I'm sure her family thought it was cute, but for almost 5 days the bitch didn't sleep! One the 4th she told me she knew she was hallucinating... there were monkeys and little men walking outside of her room in the dryer. Ummmm...ok, so who's the president? Whats the date? Where are we? She knew all the answers. I started going in the room and saying...'Hey, tell me some stuff" and she would rattle it all off to me.

Last night she was definately about done with the no sleep thing and was punchy. As I re-started her IV for the millionth time, she started telling me about her sex life with her husband. This lady is 64 and a grandmother. I have talked to her husband almost every night and met the kids and grandkids. She told me "my cherry is pushed so far back I could use it as a tail-light."

I almost died.

So I'm going to the fancy wedding in Williamsburg tomorrow. Sweet couple, should be nice. His cousin is the football coach at the cops alma mater, so I see we will have a new friend tomorrow night. Got my lazy ass up this afternoon just in tme to make it to the mall and get a wedding gift and a dress to wear. You know the dress rocks when the well dressed gay boy at the shoe store raves about it. He had more fun picking out matching shoes than I did.

I will try to stay on top of this thing a little more. I think that as the fall wears on I will have more time off and not be so stressed. The wedding is still coming along nicely. I booked my moms airline tickets this week. (she is even worse on the computer than I am) But unbenownst to her, I have arranged for her best friend to come along too..... so I booked them both on the fights this week. Not sure when we get to tell her, but it will be a great surprise!Next stop... where to stay. Gonna be in Key West, have been there a few times and have my leads. Anyone out there in blog land have any suggestions????

PS Now the spell check on this fucker isn't working. I'm gonna post with type-o's rather than lose my shit again. Sorry 'bout the spelling!

I'm Back

So the computer drama continues. Now the ants, which have been running wild in the kitchen have gotten into (?) the laptop... and it is acting like it is possessed. The blog and all the freaking emails I have have been banished to the desktop in the back bedroom with was cool when it came out 5 years ago, but now is just like the '67 VW Beetle you just hope starts. I would be able to post from work... if I was in the ER, but I have found that more than just a little surfing is frowned upon in the ICU.

So I officially have 3 more days of orientation before I am on my own as an ICU nurse. The other night I had it down to hours and minutes. I'm just over being babysat. I worked in the ER last night... and the difference in atmosphere is amazing. They just seem to have so much more FUN with what they do. They are nowhere near as intense as the ICU peeps, and the time goes so much faster. One of my girlfriends is pregnant with her first child, so we played with the ultrasound last night. I got called a "punta" by a sweet hispanic guy who got his ass beat by his brother-in-law... and then he headbutted the special ops guy who was holding him down.

Going to a wedding in Colonial Williamsburg this weekend. Sounds a bit fancy, but it will be nice to get away for a while. The couple is leaving for Maui on Monday morning.... god I'm jealous. I really need a vacation!