Tuesday, April 24, 2007

The Race is On!

Its Tuesday.... the countdown is on. We leave at the butt-crack of dawn on Sunday morning. That means I have to get all my shit together BEFORE Saturday so the cop doesn't stress because I'm not packed! I also have to get the MadDog set with my sister and the evil cat situated in his cell....I mean room. (The cat is the devil incarnate....). It would be nice to have it all done on Friday since we can't miss the wine festival this Saturday.

I'm not stressed, just have a lot of shit to do. I'm to the point now that is something comes up I'm just gonna throw money at the problem. Unfortunately, the one thing I can't pay to fix is my ankle. I was doing ok until I went shopping today. About halfway through it started to throb. I'm lucky I had it wrapped! To be honest, I haven't slept well over the last 2 days. The cop is out of town at a conference so its been just Maddux and I.

Saturday, April 21, 2007

Good Times

Everyone keeps telling me that there will be little mishaps with the wedding. I'm not too worried about the little stuff. This morning was another story. I got my ass handed to me in the trauma room last night and was on my way out with the CC and another nurse. Our hospital is a little ghetto and even though we are getting a new multi-million dollar bed tower.... the basic stuff has been neglected. On the way out to the parking deck there was an area of collapsed concrete with outdoor rugs thrown over it. Yup.... I stepped in it and fucked up my ankle! I had to go BACK to the ER, get registered x-rays, percocet etc. The cop laughed his ass off when I called and the day nurses kept trying to put me in the trauma room. Bottom line: Not broken (thank god) could be a screwed up ligament.... will have to wait for the swelling to go down and see what happens! I'm out of work tonight and maybe tomorrow if it isn't better.

Last night I was in the trauma room and it ROCKED!!! I had great medics the BEST docs and actual sick people. A couple of drunks that rolled their cars, a stabbing to the shoulder. We also got a through and through GSW to the neck who came in handcuffed to the backboard. I had to get the keys from PD to undo the cuffs. Turns out this motherfucker robbed a pizza hut. PD saw the car he was in and pursued him into the city. He popped off 4 rounds at a female officer and she fired back once hitting him in the neck. She actually took out his voice box. He went emergently to the OR. I got two police officers up with us, got them in sterile suits and they got to watch his surgery. He will have a nice place to stay when he gets discharged.

We had a young guy, drunk as shit who was going 90mph in a neighborhood and flipped his truck. Thankfully it was 4am, so no kids were out on the street. We aren't sure if he went out the sunroof or the windshield. He had facial fractures, awful lacerations into his neck, a pelvic fractures with vessels bleeding into his belly and a tear in his aorta. The pelvic bleeding can be bad, but an aortic injury is always life threatening. If too much pressure (think bp) builds through that vessel it can blowout and then its too late. We could crack the chest there, but there's like a 1% survival if it gets that far.

The take home message is the same as always!!!! DON'T DRINK AND DRIVE! This guy had a DD and didn't call her!

SO the cop is at a friends wedding (he's a groomsman) and I am chilling with my foot propped up. I am such a klutz!!1

Wednesday, April 18, 2007


Does a brain smell? I know thats a weird question, but we talk about strange things at work. I was helping with the city's soon-to-be next homicide victim and this was the topic of conversation. Dude-man was minding his business (of course) and got popped in the back of the head with an exit smack in the middle of his forehead. Through and through to the head, the pressure builds up and the brain can actually squirt out. When I mentioned that it looked like a big zit popping, the doctor had to stop for 5 minutes he was laughing so hard. He was actually packing the hole in the head in order to put a catheter in the brain and measure the pressure (normal is less than 20, his was 90). After the brain squirted, there was a really foul smell. Thats where the question came from.

Ahhhhhh..... the beauty of the ICU.Laughing has been good these days. Most people have figured out that I am from VA. I was actually accepted to Tech, and almost went there. They don't have a nursing program, so who knows where I would be if I was a true Hokie. I am marrying into the Hokie Nation and I must mention that I know VT will be ok. The students, faculty, alumni and people of Blacksburg and VA as a whole LOVE that school. The cop has tried to explain it, but until you are there and see it yourself, you cannot grasp what an amazing place Tech is.

And if that doesn't cover it, here's another video (ok, I'm a nurse, not a computer geek) so please check them both out! I tried to have the videos on here, but I'm just not that computer savvy.


If you are a Virginian and a member of the Hokie Nation, then this is a very hard time. I know some people who read this blog are far far away. Please keep them all in your prayers.

Tuesday, April 17, 2007


How do you know that GOD is a Hokie?Every football season the leaves turn ORANGE and MAROON.

Monday, April 16, 2007


We are watching CNN right now. The shootings at the "Blacksburg VA College" was at the cop's Alma mater. We have been up there several times and West AJ was my best friend's dorm. My cousin was in the Engineering School there approx 2 years ago. A good friend in currently in Medical school there. We know the buildings on TV, the hospitals that patients are going to....

What the fuck is going on.......


The barbecue went really well. I like being a little older and knowing that there won't be fights, throwing up or people taking off with our stuff. The "stripper" was too trashed from the horse races to show up, so save for a diaper or two getting changed (friends with babies... thats a whole other post) there wasn't any nudity. There was however a fire in the fire pit, nice weather and LOTS of liquor. I think Maddux fared the worst. We thought he would act retarded and bark and growl but he chased the frisbee and got lots and lots of lovin'.

Maddux spent today asleep in his corner and was too zonked to get up and eat dinner, so we brought it to him. He was so good with the kids that I didn't even care. So I've spent the day eating leftovers and relaxing. This is my last week before the wedding and I'm working 60 hours. Probably not my best idea, but oh well.....

Saturday, April 14, 2007

Ding Dong

the witch is dead!

We have "frequent fliers" in the department. They come in for all types of shit. Most want pain meds, some have legit medical conditions but don't take care of themselves (with their highly busy social calenders and all). None have "real" insurance. They are ALL either disabled or on Medicaid. The running joke has been that we have lost 1 frequent flier a year pretty consistently as long as I can remember.

This year has been a little different. We have had 3 die within the past 3 months. Its almost scary. Unfortunately, any time this is brought up someone will pipe up and say that Mr Smith is next. (you all know that this is not his real name). Of course Mr Smith has to be next! We are all fed up with his shit. Mr Smith is an end stage renal pt who is mean as shit and has been kicked out of every dialysis center in our city. As a result he shows up at the ER several times a week complaining of chest pain or other assorted symptoms in the hopes that we will have to dialyse him.

Well, Mr Smith WAS next. As I walked in to work one of the girls yelled across the parking lot.... "Hey, guess what? I heard Mr Smith came in coding today. Lets find out if its real!" Staff from all over the department greeted us with "How are you? Did you hear Mr Smith died?" I even got calls from staff that were not working last night to check.

My take on it is that he's not dead til I see a body and an obit. Otherwise he could be living in the walls like the other roaches and lawyers who will survive the end of the world!

Last night was crazy busy. People were really really sick, there were no ICU beds and we kept getting hit with more patients. I personally think that Mr Smith was down in hell with another frequent flier, looking up at us, cursing out night, giving us the bird and yelling for a glass of water. (we never gave him water because of his renal failure) So its Mr Smith's fault we had a shitty night last night. I'm sure Friday the 13 had nothing to do with it at all!!!!

The cop and I have decided not to have the traditional bachelor/bachelorette parties. We are having a cookout here at the house instead. Lots of cops, nurses, some family and high school friends. I have syringes to make jello shooters and more hot dogs than even the cop could eat. The beauty of this situation??? I paid for it all..... so the cop is going to clean and get things set up! I think I got the better deal!!!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007


I pulled a muscle in my chest. Every time I take a deep breath or sneeze (allergies) it feels like its piercing, from back to front through my chest. Hurts like a bitch. How did this happen? A 50 year old lady has high blood pressure for years but does not have the money to get her meds. She does, however have enough to get fake fingernails done... and filled, consistently. So biggins is unconscious and we have to roll her fat ass to place a cooling vest that sticks with something like flypaper. Its called the Arctic Sun. I am SOOOOO over rolling these people all night long. Grrrr..... I'm going to take some tylenol!

Saturday, April 07, 2007

I CANNOT belive this

Its April and it fucking SNOWED last night. It hasn't snowed all winter, it was 80 on Monday and I had the top off of the jeep. What the hell is going on?!?!?

We had another Darwin candidate last night. Riding a motorcycle, drunk, no helmet. Hit a tree with the bike, and then went over the handlebars and hit the tree trunk with his head. He arrived in the ICU at shift change and the nurses were freaking out! There were 5 people in the room and they were all yelling. I can handle this in the trauma room, but in the ICU I am not going to tolerate it. I went into my corner and stayed away. His head was broken in a way that the facial bones actually separated the front of the face from the rest of the skull. Its pretty nasty looking but cool at the same time.

I tried to find some more.... realistic pictures but have been unlucky so far.

We were working on pronouncing this guy brain dead when I was leaving.

Thursday, April 05, 2007

This HAS to be a joke

I received a hospital-wide email today. Urinals are "officially" on back order. We may get some of the order on 4/11. I'm just trying to decide if I should bring plastic cups in from home! What the fuck?!?!?!?

Wednesday, April 04, 2007


'Hi my name is Jeepgirl and I'm a workaholic...'

So its 6 in the fucking morning and I'm awake (no surprise) but I am getting ready to GO to work, instead of shuffling through the last hour in the ICU and going the hell home. I must say, no offense to you daytime people, but working days SUCKS. Traffic sucks, tooo many bad drivers on the road, fighting over salaried pieces of shit for my coffee and smiling like it doesn't bother me.

I have been working so much lately that K and the rest of the ER freaks have been unable to organize my shower/bachelorette party. I would much rather hang at home, drink good wine by the fire pit with people I actually like.

I have class all day today, thats why I'm up at at 'em at the ass crack of dawn. The 'GODS' of the ICU have decided that the "new" nurses need an all day class on all things neuroICU. Ummm.... so I get to sit in class all day with Lurch and a bunch of new grads. You've got to be shitting me. Can I bring my IPOD? this would have been nice either 5 years ago when I started as a nurse, or 8 months ago when I started in the ICU. Now its just silly. Thanks to Wil at Paradise Driver I now have a very clear picture of what I don't want to be when I grow up! Maybe I'll just do butt flexes in the chair as I pretend to pay attention.

I'd better go finish getting ready. For a profession that allows us to wear pj's (scrubs) to work I think its retarded that I have to get dressed up for a class. Bastards!